I think that the main reason for most of our painful experiences is an element of human nature which makes us forgetful. Despite our incredible evolutionary success, we constantly tend to ignore lessons which history presented in vivid colours.
Our clear understanding that nothing is permanent does not help either. Although we know that this Dori Syndrome will cause unnecessary emotional pain, we continue to make the same mistake over and over again. Our forgetfulness makes us act as if we have plenty of time. Perhaps, the following illustration would cure our sclerosis and assist us to become a bit wiser.
When we go to bed every night, we might take a moment and realise that we have one day less to live. During our entire life, we would be able to experience, in average, seventy springs, seventy summers, seventy atoms and seventy winters.
It actually is not much. In fact, it might not be enough because there is so much to learn and so much to give. But because we are so busy with other immaterial things, we are left with little time to attend to the most important assignment in our life – our loved ones. We have no choice but to learn that all immaterial matters can wait.
Maybe we would be able to gain more clarity if we acknowledge that there are three things money cannot buy: true love, true friendship and health. However, even if we are blessed and have all three priceless gifts in our possession, we will not be able to enjoy them if we do not have time. It means that the TIME is the most important.
Possibly, due to lack of clarity, we treat time as if it is less valuable than a trash which we take out of our houses every morning. We always think that we have enough time to do something which we assume is not that urgent. We allow hectic vanity to swallow us. It might be a root cause why we dedicate not enough time to the most important people in our life.
We always understand our mistakes when it is too late and begin to question our actions without being able to find any reasonable answers. Why we do not say “I love you” to our loved ones when we can. Why we cannot understand that we will blame ourselves later when it is too late. Can’t we sense that even if later we scream ‘I LOVE YOU!” those will not hear us because they are no longer in this world.
We shall finally understand that the true value is right there, next to us? Somehow these very special people are always not demanding and humble, unlike insignificant ones who are loud and shameless. But because they don’t demand anything, we are stupid enough not notice that we failed to dedicate most of our time to them. We begin to see that a gigantic scale of our loss only when they are gone.
Possibly our inability to stay focused might be a part of the design. Perhaps, it was intended for us to go through such painful experiences because pain is the best teacher. It leaves us with no choice but to learn our lesson the hard way.
However, is there any way to reduce this high level of pain? Is it possible at all for us to start learning from other people’s mistakes? I would think that it would be much better and less painful process. Would you agree?