my-trip-to-alternative-reality-1-6382

After a couple of decades of experience, I managed to polish my analytical skills and there is still plenty of room for me to improve. However, based on what I learnt, made me come up with few fundamental rules that guide me through the assessment process and enable me to formulate a conclusion which would explain certain events as objective as humanly possible and identify few options of potential developments that might take place in the future.

One of that rules which I must follow is to keep in mind that whatever I would like to see has nothing to do with what happens in reality. It took many years of practice for me finally avoid bias element in my analysis. I assume that my legal background helped me as it allowed me to rely on laws of logic throughout the process of assessment.

So far, the system I have developed worked without major malfunctions. Little did I know that it would completely fail to explain one modern phenomenon. The system which worked well within a period of so many years was redundant to provide me with any logical explanation and understanding what exactly makes some people admire Donald Trump?  Some theories suggested that Trump’s supporters do not want to accept facts because they are tired of professional politicians.

Somehow such explanation does not convince me. Because I think that when these people have problems with pipes in the house, they call a plumber, not a gynaecologist. Although knowing what we know about Trump and his supporters today, I should not be so sure.

I started to think that it might be one of these mysterious events that science cannot explain. I was almost ready to accept my defeat when help arrived from an unexpected source.

I was watching “Meet the Press” with Kellyanne Conway, Counsellor to the President Donald Trump. Suddenly she said something which I did not understand immediately. The reason I was confused is because I would never imagine that someone could say “alternative facts” during a show which has nothing to do with comedy. I would never think that an adult who consults the President of the United State would say “alternative facts” without a slight suggestion that it was a joke.

This interview left me with the impression that nowadays it is acceptable to say such nonsense on TV. And although I am a quick learner but I must admit that it took me a while to stop trying to apply the system which is based on laws of logic to explain something illogical. I realised that to understand the event I must be on the same frequency with these “nonsense-speaking people”. (Perhaps it would be appropriate to call them “alternative people”.) 

It was clear that the assessment is going to be challenging because I must forget laws of logic and fall into “alternative reality” for a search of the answer. So, I designed “alternative teleport” to begin my journey and explore the “alternative world”. And to my surprise, it kind of worked.

When I was already on my way, I realised that I forgot to call my doctor to check whether I need to be vaccinated. But I quickly dismissed this thought because I understood that instead of vaccination I might be admitted to a mental house.

Now, when I am back to the safety of the real world, I would love to share with you what I have discovered in this strange and weird world of “alternative reality”.

Apparently, “alternative world” does not have such thing as “facts”. Therefore, the supporters or “alternative people” do not pay any attention to any of those facts because they simply do not see it. Perhaps, one of the reasons is that lobotomy in “alternative reality” is just as common as circumcision on our world.

I also discovered that there is only one main factor which, has a huge influence on the way “alternative people” see things. It is their language. The language they speak sounds pretty much like normal language. Real people would not be able to detect the difference either grammatically, or phonetically. The name for this language is Primitinglish.

There is no university in the real world that would provide with Primitinglish classes. But in “alternative reality” all “alternative people” converse with each other in Primitinglish fluently and understand one another clearly even before they finish the sentence. I also suspect that sometimes they converse in a mute mode because somehow, they see each other from the distance without saying a word.

During my short trip, I managed to discover that “alternative people” live in one country. Although a territory of this country is small in comparison with the land that is outside of the borders, “alternative people” do not consider external territory habitable. I cannot say with hundred percent assurance, but I am under impression that even if the species of their own kind populates the outside territory, “alternative people” are convinced that those are just half-people.

I also found out that “alternative reality” has its own set of values which is a mirror reflection of the values we have here, in the real world. For example, if we consider shameful to be called a liar, “alternative people” interpret it as a compliment, because in Primitinglish it means an honest person. What we understand by saying that a person bankrupted at least 4 businesses, shall be translated as successful businessmen, and so on.

Apparently, they also have a history. However, unlike history in our world, “alternative people” have relatively short active periods during which they manage to cause enormous destruction. These active periods are followed by periods of hibernation which are much longer than active periods.

It was also interesting to know that transformation of their language is quite drastic. It changes its name from one active period to another. I learnt that the previous active period happened about eighty years ago. During that period, “alternative people” spoke Primiteutsche. It sounds very different from Primitinglish. But it seems that “alternative people” understand it perfectly. I think it might have something to do with genetic memory.

Because of the nature of “alternative world” intellectual people are openly shamed and good manners considered as mean attitude. They use the word “liberals” as something negative. If you speak well and act politely, you might be in danger.

Unfortunately, I had to leave “alternative world” quickly because “alternative people” started to recover from lengthy hibernation to enter the active period. Therefore, for me to avoid deportation or imprisonment, I had to get back to my “alternative teleport” and come back to our wonderful and beautiful reality.

I must say that although what I witnessed is nothing short of shocking, I have learnt one important lesson. I should not have wasted my valuable time by trying to understand “alternative people’s” motivation by using our logic. It is not possible because they see everything as a mirror reflection. Every time we try to teach them something they attack us because they consider intellect as evil.

We also need to think how to wall up that hole in time which is used by “alternative people” as a gateway to our world. We shall find a solution how to fix it and fast because it appears that they can multiply quickly. They have already managed to penetrate the top echelon of our political world.

It is vital for us to urgently find a solution to close this cross-over because “alternative people” started to enter their active period. And because they begin to feel comfortable in our world, they can destroy our planet, just as they time to time destroy their own world.

 

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